Lab Rat

Hello again! Yes, I’m still here. And yes, I kinda took a break over the last few days. On what was pretty much a whim, I decided to hang a “do not disturb” sign on my metaphysical self (at least to the degree any of us really can) and consciously chose to be more physical for a couple days. Doing so has confirmed to every ounce of my being that I’m “over it” – that there is more to life than hanging around in the physical, being frivolous on the computer, watching television and doing those things I generally don’t do much of. It doesn’t feel right. It is shallow and self-centered and … pointless, really. Well, pointless except in the “last lesson of this nature” kind of way.

The ironic thing is that by taking this kind of a break, I’ve actually been able to “connect a couple more dots” of the big connect-the-dot puzzle of this incarnation -making associations between things that I hadn’t realized were connected before now… bits of my background, beliefs and experiences that had been haunting me, but to which the solution had been elusive. But I’m on to them now – so those one or two old habits and deep-set structures will soon be going “bye bye” once and for all – and won’t that be nice? The full picture is becoming more clear every day, with every experiment I conduct on myself. Yes, I feel like a lab rat. But isn’t that what life is about, when you get right down to it? Experimenting, experiencing, questioning and determining what your reality is… and evolving it and yourself along the Way?