Redefining Soft
“They have a soft heart”. We’ve all heard the phrase at one point or another, and we all know that it’s usually meant in a more-or-less derogatory context instead of in a complimentary one. When we hear (or use) this phrase, it implies that the person being spoken about is a pushover or somehow weak, and that having a “hard heart” is the preferred attitude for dealing with whatever situation is being referenced.
But let’s think about this for a second; it is implied that the best, most efficient, and strongest way to deal with most situations (and, by extension, people) in our lives is with a “hard heart”. Is this really what we believe on a societal level? Well, for the most part, the answer is yes. Unfortunately, most people consider the idea of having a soft heart as a point of weakness. “Soft” is associated with the feminine, with emotion, sympathy, compassion, gentleness, and although we don’t often admit it, love. Having a hard heart, however, is normally associated with the masculine – with action, strength, determination, emotional detachment, perhaps with bravery, and a certain efficiency and effectiveness.
But at what point did being rough and unemotional become synonymous with action and strength? And at what point did this become the preferred way of dealing with life and with each other? Why is having a “soft”, sympathetic, compassionate perspective considered weak? Should we really have a “hard heart” when we deal with the situations and people in our lives? Or perhaps things would go more smoothly if we could step out of our ego, out of the inertia and irresponsibility fostered by our hard heart, to deal with each other out of compassion and understanding instead.
It takes a stronger individual to look at and interact with life from a soft, compassionate perspective than from the hardened, arrogant point of view. It easy to hide behind “hard”. There’s no responsibility there, no compassion, no honesty. But it takes a brave soul to deal with life openly, compassionately, “softly”. Which do you choose?
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